Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Stop The Divorce

If you made the steps to file for divorce, have done all the negotiating and then started
to have second thoughts but felt as if it was too late and now you are in divorce court can
you still change your mind? The answer to that question is YES! You can always change
your mind and if your partner is willing to give it another chance then you should go for it!
Yes, you will be out the money for the lawyers and possibly court costs, but those costs
are minimal when it comes to saving your marriage and your family.

A good counselor can help you both learn new and much more effective communication techniques. More effective communication techniques can lead to more understanding of each other’s faults and foibles. More understanding can lead to resolution of hurt feelings and the beginning of trust and respect returning to your relationship. When trust and respect are restored then anything is possible in your relationship.

Before you start to see a counselor take some time to write down issues you think need to be worked on. Encourage your spouse to do the same. If they refuse, do it anyway and write down that one too. If the marriage is to be saved then both of you have to give it 100% and make each other a priority.

Be careful though, not to put the full blame for the problems in the relationship all on one of you. It takes two to make or break a relationship. Some people may argue that it only takes one person to ruin a relationship but if you think about it when the problems get big if you both do not address them then the relationship is in deep trouble.

The counselor you choose can act as a neutral third party to help you wade through all the crap that has paralyzed you both for so long. The counselor can help keep the lines of communication open and keep things moving forward and also keep the fighting to a minimum.

The longer you wait, the closer to divorce you will get and the harder it will be to pull it all back from the edge of disaster. The sooner you both admit that you do still love each other enough to want to stay together but realize that it will take an enormous amount of love, patience and time to fix your relationship, the better off you will be.

Just do not expect it to happen overnight. It didn’t get bad overnight and you won’t be able to fix it that quickly either. All of this is necessary if you really want to stop your divorce.

Avoiding Divorce

Divorce is usually the last resort although these days it seems the quick
and easy go to when things get a little hard. It’s sad that marriage isn’t as
sacrade as it once was. There was a time that when you said your vows
it was serious and meant something. Now I believe that some people think
of it as a “for now” thing. If it doesn’t work out well they will just get a divorce.

Marriage is work, and if you take your vows seriously, if you loved the person
you married, if you want it to work then you have to put in the time and the effort
and do whatever you need to in order for it to survive and last “forever”.

It is not easy for a man or a woman to live alone their whole life. After divorce, the individual may have to face physical, psychological and economical problems. The family life of the person is totally collapsed. There are so many ramifications to divorce that I don’t think many people take into account.

Separation or divorce affects the children much more than you may think. It may give rise to psychological problems which can affect the tender minds of children as they need both the parents equally. The children may get mentally and physically disturbed and feel insecure due to which their future may get spoiled. Looking towards these effects, you should strive to save marriage stop divorce.

It is not easy to keep the relationships alive, for that it takes some effort. If you strongly wish to save your marriage and stop divorce, you should try to improve yourself. Some possible factors that can affect your relationships are the broken trust, boredom, infidelity, poor communication, addictive behavior, emotional abuse, absence of sex and affection and lack of appreciation.

Once you know about the reasons, you should try to find out the options to solve them. The main reason for the divorce is a lack of understanding and compromises. Hence, you should give away your ego to maintain the healthy relationships and should take an initiative to resolve the problems in your married life.

Self-assessment is a very important step to save marriage stop divorce which includes thinking about your mistakes. If you want to be a good partner, you should have a capacity to listen to your partner and understand him/her for which you need a good communication skill. You should be able to keep calm and talk through the problem. When your partner is talking with you, you should ask the related questions and clarify the queries.

If you both are not able to solve problems in your married life, you can consult your family or friends and seek an advice from them. You may realize your mistakes after talking with them and can try to correct them. If you don’t feel it satisfactory, you can try for marriage counseling. You may go to counselor’s office and find the solutions to save marriage, stop divorce.

Counseling can help the couples to improve their communication skills, to uncover some other problems or issues, find out the differences and understand the troubles. You can also go for a trial separation which gives the couple enough time for to think about their differences, their mistakes, problems in their married life and ways to resolve them.

Midlife Crisis

Many men go through what is termed as a Midlife Crisis, for women this is
menapause. They both have some things in common; physical, emotional
and mental changes. When these changes happen most men feel the need
to do things that maybe they had put to the side because they got married, or
to go out and prove they are still men by doing challenging things, buying
outrageous items, changing the way they look etc. The frustration of knowing that
they are changing, growing older can lead some serious marital problems.

Almost every man  faces some form of a midlife crisis. It is common with the men between the age group of 40 to 60. How do you identify that the man has a midlife crisis? There are some signs which let you about his midlife crisis. He may start to dress more carefully and youthfully and may get involved in some energetic activities.

He may begin paying more attention towards his appearance, may talk about going on a diet, may join a gym or may dye his hair. He may complain about the appearance of his wife, he may wish to be alone. Many men start to listen to the romantic songs.

Men midlife crisis can destroy a marriage if they take it too far. The husband can neglect his wife and her needs. There may be total lack of communication between the husband and wife. It is possible that the husband gets involved in an extra-marital affair. It can give rise to misunderstandings, conflicts and bitterness in married life. When it crosses the limits of tolerance, the couple starts thinking about separation.

Is this happening with you because your husband has a midlife crisis? Then don’t think directly about the separation, be calm and look for the solutions. There are many different ways to overcome the problem of a husband going through a midlife crisis. What you can do is to try to wait till the crisis ends. For this, you may require a lot of patience and tolerance. You can also try some other options to resolve this problem.

To reignite the love between you, spend some time with each other and go away together so that you can spend time time away from the family and children. If this problem is because of lack of communication, start to develop good communication between you and your partner.

Your partner should be equally willing to save the marriage and improve the relationships. To save marriage, the husband in a midlife crisis can contribute by changing his approach and by controlling his emotions. He may recall the memories of pleasant days in his early married life and bring those days back with his romantic behavior.

He should try not to hurt his wife by making embarrassing comments about her appearance or behavior. Try to enjoy the pleasant moments in your married life. In order to save marriage midlife crisis husbands may face can be considered to find effective solutions to your problems.

There are various factors you will have to consider changing when you are trying to save a marriage with a husband going through a midlife crisis, extra marital interests, weekend and day trips, are sure to help rekindle the marriage.

Saving Your Marriage For Your Kids

Should you save your marriage just for the childrens sake? A lot of couples think
it’s better to just stick it out for the kids sake, but in many cases this isn’t always the
best choice. Many times it is actually worse on the kids to see their parents fighting
all the time or one or the other of the parents caving and giving in to their spouse just
so that there is no fighting. Think about it this way, would you want your grandchildren
to go through what your children are?

This isn’t to say that it can’t be done with the proper guidence, the proper help and
possibly family counseling once you are in couples counseling for awhile because
I can almost guarantee you that what your children have heard and gone through
during the rough spots in your marriage has affected them in some way.

Usually, the world of children is limited to their parents and they are totally dependant on their parents for all their needs. What they require in their growing age is affection and protection from their parents. When their parents take the decision of separation, they emotionally may collapse and become restless.

When the problem of child custody arise in the court, it may become very difficult for the child to choose one of the parents with whom he/she is supposed to live with in future because the child loves both the parents equally. In case of underage child, the court takes the decision about the custody of child which may be forceful for the child. Hence, to protect the right of a child to have both the parents, you need to save the marriage for the children.

As the divorce affects the economical status of an individual, it might become difficult for a single parent to take proper care of a child. Since, divorce or marriage separation is not socially accepted in some countries, the child may feel embarrassing in the society. There may be some problems in emotional bonding of children and parents. A child of divorced parents might experience a feeling of intense anger, insecurity and loneliness.

The consequences of divorce affect almost every aspect of the children’s lives such as emotions and behavior coping skills, psychological development and the parent-child relationship. The children may feel helpless and lonely due to frustration which may lead to some health problems such as sleep difficulties.

There may be some destructive changes in children’s behavior such as alcohol abuse, drug addiction, violence or the attempts to suicide. Other behavioral problems include nervous habits, school problems or regressive behaviors like bedwetting or use of the comfort items including blanket or stuffed toys. Hence, before taking any harsh decision, find out some solutions to save the marriage for the children.

Once you decide that you should save the marriage for the children, you should start working on it. You can first find out the problems in your married life and ways to resolve them. When you come to about the problems, both of you should equally take efforts to solve them and save the marriage.

You need good communication to express your feelings and to listen to and understand your partner. You may take the help of your family or friends and get an advice from them. If this is not sufficient, you can go for marriage counseling which may help you to understand your problems and differences and suggest some solutions.

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