Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Advice on Advice

A good friend and colleague of mine Michael Webb, wrote this article and gives great insight on who to take advice from.

A few years ago I had a friend whom was having problems in his marriage. He confided in a friend and received some advice. Some very bad advice. Advice that would have probably launched his marriage over a proverbial cliff had he followed it. Fortunately, my friend decided to ask some others and me what we thought of the situation and the advice he had been given. He ignored the first piece of advice and is still married because of it.

Because of my career in writing and speaking about relationships, a lot of people seek me out for advice. Here is my advice on asking for advice.

* In a multitude of counselors, there is wisdom. I love this biblical teaching. Don’t just accept a friend’s advice. Don’t take your psychiatrists advice. Don’t believe a word I say. Be cautious about what your Pastor might tell you. Don’t act on anyone’s advice UNTIL you have heard from a few friends, counselors or experts on the subject. Always get a second and possibly third opinion on serious issues.

* If you are seeking marriage advice, talk to someone who has a blissful relationship. I probably wouldn’t ask a three time divorced friend for marriage advice just like I wouldn’t ask a homeless person for business tips.

* Don’t assume that just because someone has a Doctorate that you will get good advice. Educated men and women disagree with each other all the time. Much of their advice is certain to be helpful but keep your mind open for advice that just doesn’t “seem right.”

* Don’t go searching for the answer you want. If everyone tells you that you are a chauvinist pig, then don’t keep looking for someone who will say otherwise. Accept their advice and make a change. If many people tell you to separate yourself from your abusive husband or boyfriend, then simply do it.

* Ask at the right time. If you want to get advice from some friends, make sure you have enough time to fully discuss the issue. One can’t give good advice unless they know most or all of the story.

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